War!

Lately, I have been feeling an attitude of defeat and hopelessness. I have been exhausted. I have felt discouraged and zapped. On Sunday, I realized that this was spiritual warfare. This was an attack keeping me from deepening my walk with the Lord, keeping me from praying, and keeping me form believing in the power of the Lord. I was encouraged to remember that God is powerful! That He is “the breath of living water; the risen Son of man; the healer and the maker; beginning and the end..” (Words taken from the song “I am”). However, even though I realized my discontent was a spiritual attack, I was still burdened. My joy was being stolen and my sadness overwhelming. Monday, however, my heart was broken by the discussion of persecution. In the United States, we are so privileged and yet hindered by the fact that we are not physically persecuted for our faith. We are not required to stand up and defend our beliefs and our love of the Lord. We continue our lives thinking and becoming consumed by the little things of life thinking that a sacrifice for us is trusting God to keep our children healthy and happy, or even giving some of our money and time for the poor. When there are people all over the world who wake up knowing that they can possibly become a living sacrifice for their love and faith in Jesus. America has become so desensitized to the power, promise, and product of the Lord.

I have realized through this session on persecution that Satan is awful! Hearing his hate for us is overwhelming and intense! It makes me sick how much power he has, how much evil he has placed on this world, and how many ways he has wrecked this world. Satan hates us, and he is doing everything he can to keep us from spreading the gospel. He has one goal, to get us to be quiet. He is persecuting people to quiet them or he is keeping us from sharing by hidden measures. America is in a hidden measure. We are often told to share our testimony, to believe, to make disciples of men is crazy, wrong, pointless, or unimportant. That is a lie we have been willing to believe. We are at war! Are you fighting? Or are you quietly living a quiet, content life keeping to yourself the power of Jesus.

Sadly, I was keeping quiet. I was content living my life in America, going to Wal-Mart, being bogged down by the pressures of my small selfish life. But now I want to fight. I do not always want to fight. Often times Satan defeats me and discourages me and I walk away quiet and fearfully not sharing and creating disciples of all men. My goal now though is to fight! It is to seek the power and presence of the Lord. It is to grow in His love and mercy. It is not to fall silent, but to share and share to all I can and to share boldly. Now I cannot be a clanging cymbal. There is a strategy that needs to take place. That strategy starts with prayer. So first I have to fall to my knees in consistent and persistent prayer.

Lord, please give me wisdom. Show me where You want me to go. Show me how You want me to fight. Give me boldness and courage to share of Your promise, power, and presence. I am sorry for falling silent. I am sorry for not being consumed with a love for the lost and consumed with a boldness of sharing the hope and love You offer. Help me to “be transformed by the renewing of my mind so that I may test and know Your will, Your good, pleasing, and perfect will.” (Romans 12:2)