War!

Lately, I have been feeling an attitude of defeat and hopelessness. I have been exhausted. I have felt discouraged and zapped. On Sunday, I realized that this was spiritual warfare. This was an attack keeping me from deepening my walk with the Lord, keeping me from praying, and keeping me form believing in the power of the Lord. I was encouraged to remember that God is powerful! That He is “the breath of living water; the risen Son of man; the healer and the maker; beginning and the end..” (Words taken from the song “I am”). However, even though I realized my discontent was a spiritual attack, I was still burdened. My joy was being stolen and my sadness overwhelming. Monday, however, my heart was broken by the discussion of persecution. In the United States, we are so privileged and yet hindered by the fact that we are not physically persecuted for our faith. We are not required to stand up and defend our beliefs and our love of the Lord. We continue our lives thinking and becoming consumed by the little things of life thinking that a sacrifice for us is trusting God to keep our children healthy and happy, or even giving some of our money and time for the poor. When there are people all over the world who wake up knowing that they can possibly become a living sacrifice for their love and faith in Jesus. America has become so desensitized to the power, promise, and product of the Lord.

I have realized through this session on persecution that Satan is awful! Hearing his hate for us is overwhelming and intense! It makes me sick how much power he has, how much evil he has placed on this world, and how many ways he has wrecked this world. Satan hates us, and he is doing everything he can to keep us from spreading the gospel. He has one goal, to get us to be quiet. He is persecuting people to quiet them or he is keeping us from sharing by hidden measures. America is in a hidden measure. We are often told to share our testimony, to believe, to make disciples of men is crazy, wrong, pointless, or unimportant. That is a lie we have been willing to believe. We are at war! Are you fighting? Or are you quietly living a quiet, content life keeping to yourself the power of Jesus.

Sadly, I was keeping quiet. I was content living my life in America, going to Wal-Mart, being bogged down by the pressures of my small selfish life. But now I want to fight. I do not always want to fight. Often times Satan defeats me and discourages me and I walk away quiet and fearfully not sharing and creating disciples of all men. My goal now though is to fight! It is to seek the power and presence of the Lord. It is to grow in His love and mercy. It is not to fall silent, but to share and share to all I can and to share boldly. Now I cannot be a clanging cymbal. There is a strategy that needs to take place. That strategy starts with prayer. So first I have to fall to my knees in consistent and persistent prayer.

Lord, please give me wisdom. Show me where You want me to go. Show me how You want me to fight. Give me boldness and courage to share of Your promise, power, and presence. I am sorry for falling silent. I am sorry for not being consumed with a love for the lost and consumed with a boldness of sharing the hope and love You offer. Help me to “be transformed by the renewing of my mind so that I may test and know Your will, Your good, pleasing, and perfect will.” (Romans 12:2)   

Prayer Requests

Yesterday, I was informed that there is a little boy named Josiah who is seven years old and has stage-4 lymphoma. He is going to St. Jude’s for medical attention. After hearing this, I was struck with grief. I cannot imagine how these parents are handling carrying for their ill son while still having two other small ones. I cannot fathom the fear and anxiety they must be experiencing. There is a group on facebook that is pray for Josiah, and I am amazed at how many people are taking up arms to pray for this family and this little boy. I know I have been trying to tell as many people as I know. Seeing the response on facebook, gave me the idea to write a blog about some other prayer requests that have been on my heart and mind. One of them is the famine in the horn of Africa. Another is the economy of the United States right now. I am honored that God has blessed us with the opportunity to unite together all over the world and pray for these needs. I have learned about the power and importance of prayer. So my challenge to you is pray for these requests. Let’s take them to God in persistent prayer. It will not be because of whom we are or what we own or even what we do that He answers, it will be because we are persistent! Also are there any other requests that you may have? I would love to take those to the Lord with you. Thank you for your diligence and persistence before the Lord. Prayer is POWERFUL! The only one that will try to tell you that prayer is not powerful is Satan. God is faithful and He desires to be in communication with us, what a blessing!!!

Evangelism Opportunity

Yesterday, Stephen and I went to town in an attempt to share our testimonies and hopefully invite someone into the family of Christ. This was the first time I had ever gone out to evangelize. I was scared! Scared I was not going to be bold enough and then scared of actually sharing with a complete and random stranger. God provided two opportunities for me to start a conversation with two women, but I was not given the opportunity to share my testimony. And He provided Stephen the opportunity to share with a guy, but the guy was already a Christian. After the experience, I left feeling defeated. I set myself a goal of sharing my testimony with one person, and I did not do it. I felt weak, undeserving, and ashamed. Satan was really pushing defeat my way. After sharing in the mall, we headed over to Wal-Mart to pick up a few items.  While we were there I saw someone I had met earlier that morning when I had gone to get my blood drawn to figure out my blood type. While at the doctor’s office, I met this lady, but I did not have a chance to talk because she had to leave. But as we are walking through Wal-Mart here God shows me the same lady. So I stopped, asked her if she made it to her appointment on time, and then was able to start having a conversation. She was from Malawi and already a believer. But her story inspired me, and she was encouragement straight from God. God is so great, it ends up her best friend is Polish and a speech pathologist. So we exchanged information and she gave me her friend’s information. My hope is to be able to contact this lady and see if she would be willing to give me Polish lessons while I am still in the States. The day did not go as I had envisioned, but God is loving, faithful, and more than we deserve. He provided opportunities, guidance, and boldness. And then He provided hope and encouragement when Satan had knocked me down! I am so thankful to serve such a loving, considerate, and personal God!!

Praises!

This last week we learned a lot about doctrine. Doctrine is basically everything that we believe about the Bible. Surprisingly, it was very interesting and challenging. I was challenged by everything God was teaching me and showing me. But besides being challenged I was reminded of who God is. This reminder served as a great way for me to praise the Lord. So here are some of my praises:

                I am so thankful that we have a God who cannot be stolen!

                I am so thankful that we serve a God who hears us when we call!
                I am so glad that we serve a God who does not loose us or gets lost.
                I am so happy that we have a God who acts and fights on our behalf.
                I am blessed to praise a God that sacrificed it all for me.
                I am so encouraged to know that God is going before me and coming after
                me.
                I am appreciative to understand that God is perfect.
                I am speechless to the fact that God seeks me!
                I am in awe that after knowing all the sins of my life, He still wants me and
                loves me.
                I am thankful that my questions are not too much for God.
                I am so glad that I can praise Him.
                I am thankful to finally understand the power of prayer.
                I am filled the praise to know that God is love.
                I am so thankful that we can rest in Him.
                I am so glad to know that He takes care of our worries, fears, and anxieties.

Those were some of my praises to the Lord, but I would love to hear some praises from you. What are you thankful to God for? Tonight I am going to share my testimony with someone, please pray for boldness, guidance, and God’s words to fill me.

Zapped!

I am so zapped! I started with goals of recreating all the amazing things they have been teaching us. Sharing all the ways we have been challenged, but the computer decided to not work. So instead of trying to fix it, I went for a run. We are supposed to exercise three times a week while we are here. Usually I walk. But being so exhausted, I wanted to do something quick. So my goal was to just run the whole mile. While I ran, I just poured all my weariness out to God. I told Him the desires of my heart. I told him about my frustrations and failures. And about half-way through, my legs started getting heavy, my belly started aching and I just said God please do not let me fail one more goal. And you know what happened? This slow and steady breeze started to roll through the trees and glide over my face. It was so amazing. God was meeting me, a horrible sinner, in my weariness. I felt so encouraged! I felt like God was reminding me that He was right there, cheering me on, giving me strength, and telling me that He was not going to forsake me. I am so glad that we have a God that does not grow weary! Tonight, with God’s help, my goal is to be in bed by 8:30. So hopefully tomorrow I will be able to tell you all things we have learned. Where are some places God has met you?

Personal Prayer Application

I know I already posted one thing today, but today has been a big Monday for God demonstrating and teaching me so here I am posting two things! We have an assignment coming up that I have been confused about and honestly stressed about. So one of my new philosophies is when I am stressed I am trying too hard to take control of something and I need to turn it over to the Lord. Once I turn it over to the Lord, He will take care of it. Well that sounds like a great theory, but what does that actually look like in practice? For me it took the form of realizing my anxious thoughts about this assignment and instead of being anxious I need to be in prayer and petition about everything (Philippians 4:6). So I started praying about it, asking God to take control, to work out the whole situation, and to show me the answer. But I am going to be honest I did not really think He would. A big part of the assignment is finding an accountability partner. Well I wanted to go out there, find a partner, and figure it all out myself, but I couldn’t it. So anytime I tried to pick it back up and get stressed about it, I tried to take a breath and pray. Sadly, I still did not believe, but I kept praying for faith and for God to show me that He would take care of this. Well guess what, He did take care of it. Today during a break someone approached me and had talked to everyone else and asked if I would like to be their accountability partner. Since I had put it in God’s hands, I knew that this is what He wanted and I did not have to worry about anything! It was so amazing. I know God being a perfect and almighty God did not have to take time to teach me, reassure me, and show me love by answering my prayer even in the midst of my disbelief, but He did! How amazing is that? What is an awesome thing that God has done for you or showed you today?    

Prayer!

Prayer. Such a powerful yet at times confusing concept or at least it has been for me. I had taken my questions and concerns to my small group and the Lord and interestingly enough today our whole class was about prayer! And it was amazing! We read an amazing section of Luke (Luke 11:1-13) that discussed the elements of prayer, the exercise of prayer, and the expectation of prayer. Some highlights from that section that really inspired me were the expectations of prayer. Our teacher told us a story of a man who found favor in the eyes of a king and the king asked what he wanted. At first the man said nothing and then was informed that asking for nothing was an insult against the king. So the man asked for a golf club, thinking that he would get a driver or a nine-iron. This answer pleased the king and the next day the man was brought papers to the deed of a golf club resort. Our teacher referred this back to us and who are we asking? Are we not seeking the King of the universe? If so, why are we only taking our small, somewhat insignificant requests to Him? Do we think he cannot handle more?

 We also heard a story of a man who went for six years trying to reach a people group. For six years he got no results, so he was only left with desperate prayer. After desperately praying to the Lord, they reported 300 salvations after the following two years! This story touched me because some of my fears and concerns were if we were going to see any results. I know this is self-focused and prideful. I mean it does not matter if WE get the results but rather if GOD gets the results. I do not need to worry about the power of God or the power of prayer, because regardless of me or this mission, God will be praised. I need to worry about if I am preparing so that I can be the most effective I can be for the mission of Christ. I prepare by having my daily quiet time, spending un-interrupted time in prayer, and living and walking a life that is captivated by God’s love and faith.

After every class, they want us to journal. Two of the questions they ask us to address are what is God telling you and what are you going to do about it? God told me about the awesome, overwhelming, completely amazing power of prayer. He told me that nothing is too big or too small for Him to handle, and as long as it aligns with His will He will be faithful to answer it. Now with that knowledge I am going to pray harder. I am going to work on taking everything to the Lord, the big and the little. And I am going to be persistent in my prayer trusting in God to take care of it.

My questions to you are: what has God told you? And what are you going to do about it?